Saturday, July 30, 2011
I love my family, I love my friends, I love air conditioning, I love my new room, I love my future with school, and I love what is happening with my church; but I don't think that I can live here. I love Haiti way to much, and I can't stand thinking that I am not aloud to be there because I am too young to move on my own; and my family doesn't feel called to be there. I absolutely hate it, and I don't know what to do. Why can't God call my family too? I don't know why I posted this but I really needed to say it.
Monday, July 25, 2011
Literally and metaphorically. My flight leaves in just a few hours and I wanted to wrap up my 'In Haiti' blog. Yesterday as we were watching a sermon on TV and the pastor said a verse that just pulled the last year of my life together into a great few sentences. Proverbs 16: 1 and 3 Mortals make elaborate plans, but God has the last word. Put God in charge of your work, then what you've planned will take place. Mortals make elaborate plans but God has the last word. Means I can make all the right and wrong decisions I want to but God will always make his path. Put God in charge of your work, then what you've planned will take place. If I listen to God and follow him whole heatedly my plans will match up with his and they will happen. Well his plans happened. I have been wanting a change, a fresh start. He has given it to me. I am going back as a new person and coming home to a new life. It is beyond exciting yet so hard at the same time. My time here has flown by, and I am honestly not sure what to feel. I am happy to be seeing my family back home but I feel as if I am leaving my family behind. I hope and Pray that my joy is not stolen by Satan as I return home. I Pray that I can change and make new first impressions in the way I want to be seen. And I pray that Gods plans include Haiti sometime really soon. I'm sure he will, but it is so hard not knowing but that is why we have faith. I will continue this blog after returning home because God never stops working and I will never stop writing. To God be all the glory Kenzie
WARNING: I'm sure there are spelling Errors but spell check isn't working so sorry. So as my second to last post here in Haiti I wanted to tell you guys what God has done for me since I have been here; and its going to take as trip down memory lane and a lot of typing but I swear its worth the read. Sixteen years ago I was born four months eairly at 2lb 2oz. As a result of being four months eairly I was diagnosed with atrial septal defect or ASD. Basicaly I had a hole in my heart and at less than a week old they did heart surgury on me. The ten inch scar on the left side of my back is the only reaon I am alive, that and the mercys of God. I see that scar every day when I get dressed yet it doesn't really mean anything to me. I have always had it so when I see it, it's like if you were looking at your belly button. My full name is MacKenzie Grace DeHart and I only get called 'Grace' when I trip over things. So that doesn't mean much to me either. A few years back not a lot about me meant anything to me. I wondered where my purpose was, but then again what twelve year old doesn't. My grandparents on my moms side are the national spokes people for Choose Life inc. The non-profit organization that sells the yellow lisence plates to raise money for crisis pregnancy centers and the protest against abortion. I have been working with them and promoting choose life that since I could talk. And that didn't mean much either just because it was an everyday constant, I had never known any different. The point of all this back ground history is that I never knew I was good. I always had wanted to be something or somebody and followed wordly standards to acheve such things but this trip God showed me what I am and who I am becoming. 100 days before I left I started a journal and prayed for God to teach me things that I would need on this trip. The first day he told me to forgive my past. So I called the only two people that had a hold on me in my life and I told them that I loved them but I couldn't keep trying to force a one sided relationship anymore. The second day he told me I was a new creation in him. The old has gone and the new has come he said. The direction I was headed was change, and I was ready. He moved in me a little but it was the two steps forward one step back kind of thing. Then about a month before leaving I was tired of worring about all the stress that was spinning around me. So I wrote my worries on a list and sealed them in a eonvalope and told God okay I will not worrie about these anymore and I will not look at this list untill August 1st. I haven't seen the list yet but I think he has done some major work there. Three weeks before leaving God speaks to me through an old friend. We were working out and I had on a razor back tank top and her grand daughter asked why I had the scar on my back. And she explained the story to her and then she looked at me and said "That scar means God has big plans for her life." That scar that I never thought about had a whole new meaning. Then on day four of being here we have church with Greg and Cathy Benson and Mrs. Tracey. We watch a sermon called 'Fruit Cake and Ice Cream' by Louie Giglio; and in this sermon he puts a deffinition on a very special word to me, "Grace: God at work." How cool the middle name that I had only ever been called in the negative tense was a good thing. On the same day the team arrived and immediatly they said they noticed a huge difference in me. They said I was filled with Joy, I was way different that I was back in the states. Something I had never realized. Then on week like three and a half of being here Mrs. Tracey and I have a long talk. During this talk I am telling her all the things I would like to do and like to be but I say "I know I can't do them all..." and she says "Well why not?". I had no answer. For some reason I had always had it in my head that there was always a right or wrong answer, a black or white, never a little of both. That was yet another realization. All these realizations add up to one thing. A new MacKenzie DeHart. One who is worthy of living, one who is something, one who has the power to shoot for whatever she wants to be. One who feels God working in her life and knows that things are about to change. And as my friends I want you to help me make that change, help me keep that fire. If I start falling into the person that I once was I want you to help me back up. Hold me accountable to these things in my life. Everyone needs that and I pray you can help me with that. I want you guys to know that your support is what got me here and being her is what sparked a change in me. I love you guys and want to thank you for being with me every step of this journey; and know it doesnt stop because I am leaving it only starts over.
Tuesday, July 19, 2011
If you know me that's not an unusual thing for me to say, I love glitter its like everyday sprinkles. Today I am covered in it for a not so happy reason. There was only one nurse in the clinic today so she asked if I would help her. I did all morning we triage patients, filled out paper work ,ran an IV and towards the end of the morning bandaged a wound. The glitter started in Triage, when I took this 9 year old girls (who was dressed in a hot pink sparkly dress) temperature and weight. Once you right down that stuff the patient is off to the doctor and normally I don't see them again but I guess if they need immediate treatment the come back to the nurses. I was told in mainly hand motions to get some bandages from the depot, when i came back I saw the patient; the 9 year old girl. Her wound looked like burns but in multiple spots, I'm not really sure what they were but they were painful enough that she limped when she walked. The wound had to be cleaned out and unfortunately my job was to enable the nurse to put the girl in so much pain. The had me pour peroxide directly over the wounds, the little girl had to hold her foot still so it wouldn't start shaking. She was tossing around in agony as the nurse rubbed the peroxide into her wounds. Just when she had calmed down as the pain had worn off the nurse asked for more peroxide. I poured more onto the rag and this time the little girl watched as the nurse put the rag over the wounds and then pinched and poke them. The little girl was whimpering and she had tears streaming down her face she kept yelling in creole way! way! way! way! (which means ouch) now I don't know what the nurse said to her but there was little sympathy. I couldn't watch her grasping at the air in pain anymore so I went over there and let her hold onto me. I kept helping the nurse and going back to her. When the nurse was Finally finished I helped the girl put on her pretty white shoes and then helped her up. She said Mesi with a smile and left. The worse part of this story is that her mother was sitting right next to her and did nothing to console her. This morning taught me something. It taught me that I want to be there for all those girls in the pretty dresses. I know I have to cause them some pain but I know it will make them better and if I have empathy for there problem and sympathy for there pain then I feel like it should even out. So what this long rambling story has taught me is yeah I want to be a nurse and yeah I love it!
Haha Ok so funny thing I forgot to post this four days ago. The Internet was out so I couldn't post it. So I copied it to a notepad and just now found it. So enjoy! SO yesterday was most defiantly un-like any other birthday I have ever had; but I have a feeling it is much like ones to come. I woke up at 5am knowing it was my birthday so naturally I just kind of stayed awake. But I didn't get out of bed until 6am. I considered exercising and then thought..nah its my birthday. Then I skyped my parents, opened my cards, got a call from my grandparents, and then checked my Facebook. After all that was done I had my fabulous sweet 16 breakfast of...are you ready?..Bran muffins! Okay so not so glamorous...but I'm in Haiti we make do with what we got. After breakfast I put on a pair of scrubs and went to work. Well here work didn't last long I was only down there for half an hour or so. After that I worked in the office with Mrs. Tracey and then I baked for most of the day. Now I'm sure not all of that is to be repeated in my future but the hard stuff like being away from my family, working on my birthday, and having a no big deal birthday breakfast. This trip has been a trial run and a bunch of tests. It's given me insight to a lot of my future (more on that topic when I get closer to leaving). I have gotten to feel being away from my family, I have gotten to taste quite a few aspects of nursing, and I have gotten to (this sounds weird) enjoy good food...something I have not done in a while. God has been very good to me on this trip. He has shown me many things and taught me some valuable lessons.
Sunday, July 10, 2011
I'm sitting in my room here in Haiti, as I feel the cool island breeze hit my cheeks and blow my hair back I hear a sound. A beautiful rhythmic indiscernible sound. About a football field up the street there is a tarp, no bigger than the ones we put our cars under. This tarp has sides that drape down to make it a 'building' of sorts; inside this tarp is a microphone attached to a speaker, much like the ones we (teenagers) put in the back of our cars if we want to 'FEEL' the bass. Under this tarp in this building using this microphone is a church FULL of Men, Women, and Children all dressed in the best clothes that they have singing there Hearts out to God. This tarp is a house of God. This tarp is a church that has more of the love of God flowing through it then the biggest church in America. Do you think this Church has split more than five times in a teenage attenders lifetime? Do you think this church cares that it rained the night before and they had to go out in the mud? Do you think this church cares that they have no chairs and no air conditioning and the fact that they reached maximum complicity 30 people ago? The answer is No to all of the above. And that's how it should be. The only thing that should matter in a church is that the sheep love each other and that the shepherd guides and cares for his flock; and above all else, every single moment of that flock, that body, that family, should be to the honor and Glory of our all awesome creator God and his die hard loving son Jesus Christ. The frills, the legalistic aspect, the politics should mean nothing. The only reason we should walk into that 'building' is to stand together and worship God. If you are there for any other reason...you should re-think you logic. "He appeared in a body, Was vindicated by the spirit, was seen by angels, was preached among nations, was believed on in the world, was taken up in Glory." 1 Timothy 3:16 This is my logic. He is this awesome, this mystic, I can give him honor and glory, its the least I can do. Glory be to God, MacKenzie
Saturday, July 9, 2011
Being here without my family makes me kind of exposed. When I have my parents with me if I am uncomfortable in an intimidating conversation I have them to hide behind. But here I have to stand tall and ride it out. What I am about to tell you Mrs. Tracey said had happened to many team members before and the same result came in the end. I never thought that I would be one of those people but I am. Here at CSI: Haiti there are three other couples that run the compound. The Grahams are out on furl ow so I wont meet them, then there are the Banks who run the Orphanage, and then the Benson's who run the guest house; however Mr. Greg Benson is also the field director and acting go to guy for teams. So Greg Benson, just a big bear of a guy is the only way I can describe him. At first glance intimidation is not the word that comes to mind; but have a conversation with him and intimidation is the only word you muster up. The Herrera's say I handle him well, I don't have that same feeling but they have seen more people work with him so I will take there word for it. During the week the team was here we saw a lot of Greg. One of the days we worked they had to move two refrigerators into Hope 2 and my mom and I helped Greg and our translator Fanfan move them. After they were in the kitchen he then told us to clean them out. So no big I cleaned out one and mom did the other. There are three parts of the fridge that are set in the bottom rack on the door. Mom had hers in that spot and asked if I had mine there and I said "no, some of the stickers have been stripped so it looks like someone has already been in here". SO she walks into the hallway and says that my fridge is missing those pieces Greg comes in and looks at the bottom of my fridge and says; "You looked every where, so I'm not going to find them?" "Yes" I said. So he opens the freezer and there they are. That was not a fun sight to see and I knew exactly what was coming. So as I stand there thinking "no way no way no way I am not one of those people!" Greg begins his speech. I honestly have no idea what I said but I'm sure it was some snotty teenager remark because it made him keep talking, and I must have said something to make mom start chanting "Liars got to hell..." So I am standing there hearing all this going on having no idea what I am saying and I just want to cry because I know I will hear about this later. I walked back to the clinic went into my room and cried, then went through every scenario trying to figure out what I could have said (If I had know what I was saying) and I asked Mrs. Tracey and she said there was nothing for me to say I just shouldn't do it again. So I was finally over it after VBS and guess who is sitting across from me at dinner...and guess who talks about it with the whole dinner table...yup Greg. I don't remember what I said to him during that conversation either so I really have no idea if I was being rude again or not. Every day since then no matter who asks me to do what I do it once then I do it again and if I can't get it I try again. I went into the Pharmacy Depot last night re-check and inventory we had just done and I had to find the number 0209, I looked in the 0200 section and there was no 0209 so I started to leave then thought "Its Haiti 0209 could be any where" so I look through every number in the depot and the pharmacy. Now I didn't find 0209 because it doesn't exists but I did remember that stupid fridge. So the trick is if you cant figure something out find a bunch of other people and then talk to Greg if you still can't find it. :) Even though I had an intimidating teacher and no mom to hid behind I learned a lesson that will help me in anything I do and any job I ever get. So Thank you Greg Benson you changed my life and taught me how to build sturdy shelves. What a lesson learned. In christ, Kenzie
Thursday, July 7, 2011
I wish I had some interesting stuff to post but I don't. But that is what a lot of people don't realize. Missionary life is slow, Hard, and un-organized; you have to be a very special person to have the paitents and the 'go with the flow additiude needed to make it through everyday. You must be called to be a missonary and your pretty incredible if you are. I have the privlidge of staying with to very amazing hard working called to be missionary kind of people; and I love watching them work. So far what I have learned her is not only is this next second granted to you but it doesnt have to be so spot on down to the minute planned that we forget to enjoy that second. So just stop for a minute take 20 seconds and just breathe then thank God for the first thing that pops into you head. Now that your 20 seconds are up don't rush back to what you 'Have to be doing' I want you to go hug three people who you love dearly and tell them how much you love them and tell them to do the same. Now the four minutes that it took you to do that you have created a chain recation of a joyful memory for a dozen people just by hugging three. Imagine what you could do with just a smile to everyone you walk by. Cherish right now, live this day,this hour, this minute, this second, this moment. just live it. Don't spend your days planning the future to where you for get the present. Love this day and praise God for every nano second. Living for Him, Kenzie
Monday, July 4, 2011
...I dont want to wait for someone else, to do what God has called me to do myself; Oh I could choose not to move but...I refuse... "I Refuse" by Josh Wilson That is one of my many theme songs for this trip. I just wanted to start my first day here with just me with a list of things I refuse to let hold me back this trip. I refuse to: Be fearfull - For God is with me Be weak - For God says Be STRONG AND COURAGEOUS Be Sad - Because this trip is what makes me Happy Be sick - For that is no fun ;] I REFUSE TO WASTE TODAY THINKING ABOUT A PLAN FOR TOMORROW. I REFUSE :) God knows were I am so I have no reason to feel lost. I know this trip is blessed a long with the people who made it happen. In christ, MacKenzie :o)
...Al m' kontan jezi renmen mwen, al m' kontan jezi renmen mwen, al m' knotan jezi renmen mwen oh alelouya! Jezi remen mwen...That has been on an endless reel in my head since we started the VBS with the team. I realy can't believe they are gone already. I would take a lot to recap that week but I want to just highlight my favorite parts. 1. I loved wataching them in Haiti, watching them catch the bug and realy fall in love. 2. I ALWAYS LOVE VBS' They let you get in with the kids and teach them something. 3. Christy and I got to do so many hands on things with nursing in the clinc, it was an amazing experience for both of us it taught us a lot and helped us figure somethings out. 4. Oh I never knew how loud my body could yell at me after making it do a little over 22 hours of crazy hard manual labor. I now know I will never go into lawn care, floor clreaner, or carpentry. 5. I was incharge of the mission story at VBS. It was a CEF story about a Haitian girl named Ti-Fam. My reading that story to them helped lead them to christ. On the last day I presented the gospel and went to go pray with the kids and you know some were just not realy doing it they just pulled on my arms and stuff but there was this one boy who kept his hands to himself and kept compleate eye contact and repeated the prayer word for word. I know that my going up there and reading a story everyday - something I do not do. That action is what saved this kids eternal life, and nothing will ever top that feeling. I would guess its a pretty fair bet that we all learned something new this past week and we all pushed passed things we never thought we could break through, but all I know for sure is that God really blessed my team and I this week and we are all better people because of it. Keep that fire guys it doesn't have to burn out. Blessings, Kenzie
Wednesday, June 22, 2011
Wow it's finally here. The night before! I love the energy, but it is always a wrestless night of sleep. I am not really sure what to put on this post but I just am so excited that I can not put it into words. :) So I guess this is is, my last post from the states for a while! I can't wait to tell everyone how our travels went. :) We leave at 5:50am for the airport, we have doughnuts and frappes promised for our braving the eairly morning. Thank you for the prayers. God Bless, Kenzie
I wanted everyone to meet Team Haiti 2011. Left to right: TOP - Connie(Team leader), Jaime(Mom of Emily and Ashley), Me, Kim (My Mom!), Christy, Emily, Ashley, Bradlee, and two other members Deb and Kay who didn't make the picture. Keep them in your prayers on the week of June 26th to July 3rd. They will be serving the people of Croix des bouquet Haiti. In the morning they will do construction work on a new Orphanage for the CSI compound, then in the afternoon they will be doing a VBS for 100 kids in a local school. This team in on Fire for God and I can not wait to see how he uses them. God Bless, Kenzie
Monday, June 20, 2011
I want to start by apologizing for not posting. I was so wrapped up in finishing school, and then it was fundraiser after fundraiser and then my computer died and I just got it fixed today. So I will go over the highlight in the past 115 days. After I wrapped up school we started working on the yard sale. That was A LOT of work; but well worth it. That earned us enough money for everyone to buy there plane tickets. Everyone was working hard on sending out support letters and we had gotten a lot of positive feedback. But everyone was still a little bit short so we planned the auction to raise the rest of the money. One of the coolest parts about a missions trip is how God provides. It was three days till the auction and we had only sold 48 out of our 100 tickets. We were afraid we wouldn't have enough people to buy all of the stuff. We only needed $1,600 for the rest of the team. We prayed for the best out come God could give us. Our Goal was clearly $1,600, and we hoped for nothing more. But God, Our awesome God gave us $4,000. That extra money has allowed us to do some great things for this trip. Our team was officially going and we were so stoked! The team consists of five adults and five teenagers, all women. It has been so exciting working with all of them. Yesterday was our mission send off service. You know I have been thinking about the part of the service where the church prays over you; and truthfully it was not how I had been picturing it. It was very different. If you go to our church you know what has been going on, and you may think that, that service would be awkward. But it wasn't it was quite family like. It was very personal and made me feel very loved; and I want to thank anyone who came yesterday. If our church has anything we have love when we need it, that I know to be true. I have been so blessed just getting to Haiti, God has been with me every step of the way. I can not imagine what he has in store for me once I get down there. I want to thank anyone who has donated to the yard sale or auction, or supported me with a donation, or anyone who has just promised a prayer. You are the only reason I am going to Haiti, without you I would have never even gotten to the airport. I will try and post one more time before I leave and if I don't I will defiantly post in Haiti. Once again I say thanks for all your support. In His Name, MacKenzie
Saturday, February 26, 2011
I leave June 23rd and come home July 25th! The team leaves June 25th and comes home July 3rd. While the team is there we will be doing a VBS once in the morning and again in the afternoon. So far its a team of ten girls, and they are all so excited to be going to Haiti. The trip is really coming together! Our first team meeting is March 3rd then we will get a final count the number. I am so excited to be going and just cant wait to be down there!
Monday, January 17, 2011
Since I have the "OK" from Mr. Jeff and Mr. Greg, I can book my flight at anytime. When I go and for how long is a part of my trip that I'm not in control of. In my head I was going for a month by myself, I would go in June and a team would come the first week of July and I would fly back with them once their week was over. But that was in my head. SO...anyways my parents are going to give me a date by the end of January. That's why I'm counting down. :) I will post as soon as I know when I get to go. I will also have information about Teams if you are interested. I'll Post soon, in the mean time check up on the Herreras on there blog. :)
I don't have a lot to say about today. I'm just sad, so many people lost there lives a year ago and a city was destroyed. Here in America a year after a disaster we are practically back to normal (structurally) but there it looks almost the same way it did and hour after the earthquake. Just pray for Haiti, and pray for the people like the Herrera's. Pray that they see the things God wants’ them to do to help these people. I know God had a reason for the earthquake and I will never know that reason in my lifetime but I can help them and I'm going to. To God is the Glory.
If you have been keeping up with the Herrera’s you will know that they have moved from HCRM (In the mountains of Port Au Prince)and are now with a mission organization called CSI (Christian services international)(In Croix Des Bouquets). CSI is a perfect match for them I believe. They live above the medical clinic (which they are in charge of) in a house that can hold up to 13 people. They said they get a long well with the other missionary families and love the work they are doing. CSI is also home to HOPE orphanage, this orphanage holds twenty young girl’s ages three to thirteen. These girls are well cared for and well loved. I tell you all this to keep you updated on the Herrera’s and to let you know some exciting news. The men in charge of CSI Mr. Greg and Mr. Jeff where the two people that would tell me if I could come and how much it would cost. The asked me to send them a letter of my testimony and what I hoped to do while I was in Haiti. Apparently they were pleased with what I had written because not only did they say I could come but it is even more affordably then I thought it would be. Mr. Greg and Mr. Jeff have blessed me beyond anything I could hope for I can’t wait to get to Haiti to meet all the members of CSI ministries.
It's CHRISTmas eve and I can not sleep...go figure. I'm lying hear thinking about what could possibly be under the tree, and then think, some kids don't even know tomorrow is a holiday. They have no idea who came into this world thousands of years ago, they have no idea of the great gift we got. And apperently neither do I cause all I can think about is what I get tomorrow. It should not matter, it does not matter, Christ is the only thing that matters, The only thing. If this is a hard christmas and your afraid you can't get your kids what they want or your afraid you wont get what you want, please remember this. Luke 2:8-12 8 And there were shepherds living out in the fields nearby, keeping watch over their flocks at night. 9 An angel of the Lord appeared to them, and the glory of the Lord shone around them, and they were terrified. 10 But the angel said to them, “Do not be afraid. I bring you good news that will cause great joy for all the people. 11 Today in the town of David a Savior has been born to you; he is the Messiah, the Lord. 12 This will be a sign to you: You will find a baby wrapped in cloths and lying in a manger.” DON'T BE AFRAID - DO NOT WORRIE CHRIST is the great news that is joy to all people! He is all that matters, he is the reason for the season :) Fete Nwel and bon ane!
For the past two weekends I have been so busy baking. I was lucky to have Mrs. Tracey here visiting to help me decorate the cupcakes the first weekend, but I sure wish she had been here this weekend. Now I love cupcake like really love them but, boy are they a lot of work! :) I baked and sold over 300 cupcakes in these past two weeks. It was a lot of work but God most deffinatly rewarded me! Thanks to the bake sale my Haiti fund is now up to $1,000. God Rocks, he really does. :) As if the news isn't exciting enough I've spent the past month with all the Herrera's. It was so nice to see all of them. Tony and Tracey were even talking about a possiblity of them moving from HCRM to a different place in Haiti called CSI (I really dont know what it stands for). To my knowledge CSI has an orphanage and a medical clinic (I'm sure there are other things there I just don't know what they are). Tony and Tracey would be running the medical clinc. I think it sounds like a great match for them. Right now they are praying about it, we will know more later about what they decid to do. If you want to check them out go to www.theherrerasinhaiti.blogspot.com Thanks for reading and have a MERRY CHRISTmas!